


I Understand

by joanneofsnark



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2019-02-01 07:21:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12700104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joanneofsnark/pseuds/joanneofsnark
Summary: Taako has his first talk with Lucretia in a while.





	I Understand

**Author's Note:**

> I relate to Lucretia too much and I hate seeing her get hurt.  
> But I also relate to Taako too much and that's why the self-harm tag is there.

Lucretia was having tea. She was always having tea. 

Then the door was kicked down and she jumped up in surprise, spilling half her chamomile onto her lap. He always knew how to make an entrance.

“Taako, it’s, it’s so - ”

“Good to see me, yeah I know. Look I’m only doing this because Kravitz is making me, and he’s my fiance now, so, I can’t exactly say No.” He pulled out the chair across from her and made himself at home, not caring about the hot tea still in her lap. That was a Lucretia problem and she could deal with it later.

“Oh, my goodness, congratulations, I - ”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, save it.”

“Taako, please, I - ”

“Stop dragging this out for longer than it needs to be.”

Lucretia paused a moment to collect herself. “Okay, Taako. What do you need?” Taako paused as well, expecting her to put up more of a fight. 

“What, can’t I just visit an old friend without some kind of ulterior motive? Jesus, what kind of person do you think I am?” Lucretia looked stunned. 

“... Friend?”

“Poor choice of words.” Taako averted his eyes. After a few moments of tense silence, he began to drum his fingers on the dark wooden table. “I’m not here as your friend.”

“I understand.”

“No, you actually don’t, you don’t understand anything about me.”

“Taako please, I’m so sorry, I - ” He slammed his hand down. 

“I know! I know you’re sorry. Sorry might be good enough for everyone else, but it’s not enough for me.” He bit his lip and cast his eyes even further downward, willing himself not to cry. This was all too soon, he wasn’t ready. Lucretia looked away too.

“Can I, can I say something?” She asked. He still would not look at her.

“Shoot.” He said.

“You know I would’ve kept the two of you together if she, if she hadn’t…” Lucretia took a breath to steady herself, “If I could’ve found her.” Taako let out a dismissive huff.

“Like you were even looking.” 

“Of course I was!” Taako suddenly looked up at her, with an almost accusatory gaze. Lucretia stopped a second before carrying on, “We all were - ”

“Not by the end!” His anger had resurfaced. “Not before you took her from us!”

“I didn’t take her from anyone - ”

“Yes you did!” He was shouting now, fingers gripping the edge of table with a white-knuckled hold, “You took her! You took everything!”

“What was I supposed to do?” Lucretia’s voice grew louder as well, “What could I have done? None of us knew where she was, where to find her -”

“Barry and I were close!” 

“No you weren’t! You were hurting yourselves! You were all hurting yourselves, and she hurt herself the most! I had to put a stop to it, the only way I knew how, I had to protect you all, I had to make it better, I -”

“Stop! Just stop talking! I’m done hearing your stupid patronizing voice!” Lucretia stopped. She sat back down in her chair and put her head in her hands. Taako watched her as she rubbed her eyes and sighed, shoulders sinking lower than he’d ever seen them. He didn’t feel sorry for her. She deserved to feel this way. She deserved to feel even worse, for what she did. He pulled his hands together, interlocking the fingers and scratching at the skin behind his knuckles with sharply filed nails. He hadn’t noticed it before, but the bright blue polish was starting to chip. 

 

They both sat in their own worlds for a few minutes.

 

It felt like hours.

She spoke first.

Of course she spoke first.

 

“I didn’t know what would hurt you more,” She said, “Knowing you’d lost her or not knowing her at all. I had to make a decision.”

“So you took the easy way out.” He dug his nails into his skin.

“I guess.”

“For the first time in your life.” He looked up at her.

“I guess.” She said.

“You erased her.” His gaze hardened. She looked down at her open palms.

“Yes. I did.” She opened her mouth, probably to justify her actions, to add to her broken reasoning, but then she closed it again. “I did.”

“You took her from me.” His eyes bore holes into her forehead, daring her to say something in response, to lift her head and say,  _ “She took herself from you”  _ or  _ “No I didn’t, not really” or “It was only temporary, only for a while, only for seven godforsaken years” _

But she didn’t. She continued to stare at her hands. Another tense silence fell over the both of them, but the spell was broken before it could suffocate the two.

“I did.” She whispered. A single tear splashed onto her hands. She shouldn’t be the one crying. She didn’t deserve to cry, not yet. She made no moves to rub her nose or dry her eyes, she only stared at the same stupid, cracked and worn hands that caused all this mess. Taako looked at his own hands, scarred and tired. 

“I'm still not ready to forgive you.” Taako said. Lucretia nodded. “You're still on the hook for ruining my fucking life.” She nodded again. “But. I'll invite you to my wedding. That's why I'm here anyway.”

“You don't have to do that.” She said

“Yeah, and actually, I don't really want to do it either. But everyone else would probably miss you. And then I'd have to tell everyone that you weren't invited and I don't want to that because that's more effort on my part and it's my special fucking day, and I don't want you ruining that too. So your wrinkly ass gets invited. But you have to bring a present. A good one too, not like a book or a journal or some shit, not everybody’s a big fucking nerd like you.”

“Thank you, Taako.” She whispered

“Yeah you're fucking welcome, Madame Director.”

“You can call me Lucretia, you know.”

“We’re not there yet.”

“I understand.”

**Author's Note:**

> So I got sick of people saying that Taako didn't invite Lucretia to his wedding.  
> My best friend & I are very much Taako & Lucretia so it actually really hurt me when I read fics that included that little fun tidbit of Taakitz wedding information.  
> I talked to my best friend and we promised to invite each other to our weddings, but I wanted to post the fic anyway.


End file.
